First, She Has To Say Yes.
As one of the sisters of a soon to be bride, I can tell you first hand that planning an engagement might even be more stressful than planning a wedding. I got that frantic yet confident phone call back in June for a proposal date of mid July. So we got right to it. Michael, her soon to be fiancé, made several appointments with jewelers around New York City. We all learned a brief overview on several aspects of diamonds (let me tell you, there is more to learn about a diamond than you think), and within the week we had a stone picked out.
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| The proposal on Sebago Lake in Maine. 7/27/17 |
See this article if you are just as clueless as I was about engagement rings:
Do you care about the size of the ring over how sparkly it is? Do you want the highest quality diamond with a supportive basket, or maybe you just want a radiant center diamond with trapezoids on the sides...which is specifically what she wanted! Yes, we knew her exact dream ring before engagement was even in the picture… It’s a sister thing.
Of course a diamond ring has personal preference written all over it, but the final product is really just a compilation of your values as a consumer. It is evident that an engagement ring holds high hedonic value, and more often than not supplies immediate gratification to the lucky receiver (Babin, 2016). But past the glitz and the glam, an engagement ring signifies an unbreakable, everlasting bond between two people.
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The final product!  |
External factors highly influenced her decision in this process, specifically social and group affiliations. Because an engagement ring qualifies as a want rather than a need, group influence was relatively strong when it came to the final decision (Angell, 10/2/17). Some might say 28 years old is young to be getting engaged, but shockingly enough she was one of the last in her group. Sam had years to dwell over the rings on her friend's fingers, decide what she thought was pretty or what she absolutely did not like. Not only were friends a large influential factor, but throughout this entire process my sister relied heavily on the opinions and input of her primary group: my family. My family has always had strong ties, and because of this my sister truly valued our opinions (Angell, 10/2/17).
Luckily for me, I had a sister who knew exactly what she wanted. Unluckily for me, there was so much pressure to get it done perfectly because I knew exactly what she wanted. But no matter what the circumstances are, the process appears to be somewhat similar for everyone. So if I could please offer a few pieces of advice for anyone who might endure this wonderful journey:
Patience is key. Apparently the entire diamond industry takes the month of July for vacation. It is nearly impossible to contact anyone, and forget about putting in a rush order. You’ll get the ring when you get the ring, and not a minute sooner.
Prepare for the worst. Yes that is right – the ring was not ready on the day we were told, so the proposal (that was also a full time job to plan) was ruined. Don’t worry; we were flexible in our planning because we kind of saw this coming.
It’s ok to have high expectations. There is something about holding a ring in person that just simply cannot be fulfilled by scrolling through pictures online. The most important thing to remember is that the final product will not disappoint.
Even if it is not exactly what she wanted, she is going to love it. As I said before, having a sister with a dream ring was a blessing but also a curse. I’ll never know if the ring she got seamlessly fulfilled her greatest imaginations, but I do know that to this day (4 months after the proposal) she aimlessly stares at her finger with pure and utter joy.
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| My family right after the proposal happened! |
The crazy part about this whole experience is that my duties as a bridesmaid and maid of honor are just getting started. Even though we have barely scratched the surface, I have already learned so much about myself. I picture myself going through this process several years down the road, thinking about which type of ring I would want, or if I would even want a ring. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to skip out on the diamond and put that money toward something functional. I guess I have some time to make that decision!
Take this quiz to find out which ring is right for you:
Angell, A. (2017, October 2). CB Chapter 8: Groups and Social Influence.
Lecture presented in University of Michigan in Ann Arbor
Babin. B., & Harris, E. (2016) Pg. 23. Boston, MA:
Cengage Learning
Sadie,
ReplyDeleteI was immediately drawn to your blog as I was recently asked to be a maid of honor too! Your experience with helping to pick out your sister’s engagement ring is something I can completely relate to as this past May, my older brother proposed to his girlfriend of 10 years.
While my process was a little different since my brother was doing the proposing and your sister was getting proposed to, after 10 years of dating I can safely consider my brother’s now fiancé my sister too, putting major pressure on me to help find the perfect ring. I definitely agree with your statement that an engagement ring qualifies as a want rather than a need so group influence is relatively strong when it comes to the final decision (Angell, 10/2/17). During my experience, we had to get the ring approved by 10 different family members, both members of my family and hers, before my brother could actually pop the question. Everyone had an opinion and everyone’s opinion was important to my brother. He wanted it to be perfect.
I can also definitely relate to the “patients is key” idea. The ring took weeks to secure, even with a rush order on the diamond! However, in the end, the ring arrived and was perfect (and so was the proposal!)
I can’t wait to see what you have in store for your blog as I will for sure need some future inspiration and advice!
Angell, A. (2017, October 2). CB Chapter 8: Groups and Social Influence. Lecture presented in University of Michigan in Ann Arbor
DeleteYour blog captured my attention, because I was curious which aspects of the wedding industry you were going to tackle. This article got me thinking about the numerous sub-businesses that comprise the wedding industry, starting with wedding rings, wedding planning, wedding venues, event catering, etc. Additionally I never thought about the immensity of the wedding industry and how it is consistently grows world wide as population growth continues to increase, as it is one of the most accepted and significant traditions throughout history. In August of 2017 a Market Research Report released a report indicating that the U.S. Wedding Industry has made over 76 billion dollars in revenue, with 2,000,000 million people tying the knot every year (IBIS World, 2017). The wedding industry never goes out of season, and people are getting married at a higher rate than before.
ReplyDeleteI was also considering how it can be a bit inconvenient and a financial burden to pay off an engagement and wedding ring, with additional wedding costs. According to The Knot 2016 Real Weddings Study the average wedding ring costs an all time high of $35,329 (Seaver, 2017). I have probably thought about my wedding less than average person and therefore have given little thought as to what type of ring I desire. The amount of options and information there is to know about these "luxurious" items slightly intimidated me. It is interesting how you tied in group affiliation and external influences into the pressure behind the decision of getting a ring, because I believe that is highly relevant to the motive and desire behind why people get rings. With the tradition of love and marriage the normality of having a ring and expectations follows. The friends and groups we affiliate ourselves with are the ones that are going to be exposed to the symbolic product, so that's something people take into consideration at least on a subconscious level.
Overall, I'm glad your blog got me thinking about the influence of tradition or culture has on our market. The wedding market compares to education market, housing market, and food market in terms of wealth, even though it might not be as much of a necessity. Could weddings fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs in terms of people looking for more to feel secure aside from the necessities?
Where do you think "wedding" or "wedding rings" would fit into Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?
Looking forward to your next blog, thanks for sharing!
Best,
Tal
Seaver, M. (2017, February 2). The National Average Cost of a Wedding Hits $35,329. Retrieved October 09, 2017, from
IBIS World. (2017, August). Wedding Services in the US: Market Research Report. Retrieved October 08, 2017, from l
Links
(1)https://www.ibisworld.com/industry-trends/market-research-reports/other-services-except-public-administration/repair-maintenance/wedding-services.htm
(2) https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost-2016
Hi Sadie,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing a wonderful job getting started on your MOH duties. I'm sure you will be excellent at your job. I also want to compliment your blog. It is beautiful, professional and well written.
I agree that external factors definitely effect the consumer behaviors behind a wedding ring, because American marriages and wedding ceremonies are largely a social construct that is deeply engrained in our culture, like many cultural norms which fuel consumer behavior (Babin, 2016). Choosing a ring is truly the time for the bride-to-be to channel her girly and indulgent side to fulfill this hedonic purchase. It is also a unique situation because of its nature as a gift, not an item that is to be kept by the purchaser (the groom). That is why it is so special that the lucky guy has access to a great MOH such as yourself! This is certainly an example role expectations (Babin, 2016), because as a groom, a man is expected to obtain the ring, and as a Maid of Honor, you are expected to help him do it right.
Babin, B. J., & Harris, E. G. (2016). Consumer Behavior Chapter 9: Consumer Culture (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage-Learning.